Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Disconnected


You ever felt disconnected from something or someone? I’m sure you answered yes; well my answer is also yes! When my husband’s son (now our son) first came to us, I didn’t feel a connection with him. I guess I was in shock, I couldn’t grasp on to this new life we now had. I was use to just the two us hanging out, going as we please, working any hours plus overtime, sleeping and just being a young couple with little to no responsibilities. It was kind of like someone forced you to get married and you wasn’t in love. Our lives had changed so fast and so dramatically. Our lives literally changed overnight.

Being in a relationship/marriage with a person who has a child is a huge struggle; you have to be mentally, physically and emotionally strong. But, if you truly love the person, you will stick with them. Prayer got me through these struggles. If you don’t pray and ask God to be your strength, you will never survive being in a blended family. As the years went on and our son got older, he and I have developed a strong relationship. We have a strong mother son relationship that no one wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if he’s mines or not.

If you’re in a blended family and you have a disconnection with your step child/children, my advice to you is to pray to God, ask him to guide you and to open up your heart to accept this child/children as your own and also pray for strength. Ask God to open up the child/children heart to accept you and to open up the lines of communication.

Have you experienced this? Tell me some of the experiences you’ve had or you’re having! Please feel free to comment, ask questions, make suggestions, etc. Thanks for reading!

 

  

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Suddenly we were parents!


When I met my husband’s son for the first time, I felt a sense of disbelief. I felt like, I can’t handle a life like this because I knew what was to come. But, as time went on things did not get easier, it was more of a challenge, and it was a test of my faith. I knew there would be some baby momma drama, which it was, but in the end it was all worth it.

As I stated in my last post, my family is a little different from other blended families. We found out my husband had a baby about a year into our relationship (not a result of cheating), which was fine. We said, okay you will just earn up to your responsibilities and be the best father you can be without any drama. So, we just figured he would have his visitations and pay child support and support the baby as he should. But, that was not the case, when the baby was four months old, we received a call saying if you want the baby, we’ll drop him off, if not the baby will be going to foster care because the mother is not fit to take care of the child. This changed our lives forever.

Suddenly we were parents! This was not easy at all, especially for me because I wasn’t responsible for making this child. We were young, very young! I was 21 years old and my husband (my boyfriend at the time) was 20 years old and we didn’t know anything about raising a baby. I had just graduated from college in search of my career, wanting to travel the world. My husband had just come to the USA in search for the American dream.

Would you have taken on the responsibility of raising someone else’s child? Why or why not? What are some of the challenges some of you have encountered while taking care of someone else’s child? Did you have to sacrifice anything? Please feel free to comment, ask questions, make suggestions, etc. Thanks for reading!

  

Friday, November 30, 2012

Introduction


Hey! My name is Desiree and I’m new to blogging! I just wanted to start a blog on blended families, in which I have a lot of experience in because my family is blended. But, I like to think my family is different from other blended families. Let me tell you a little bit about my family. My husband and I met seven years ago and we’ve been married for three years. He has a son that we both raised since he was four months old, so I take him as my real son. But, legally according to the law he’s now my stepson. We also have our two year old son together.

Being in a blended family has his challenges and ups and down, but it’s no different than anything else. But for me, I kind of got the upper hand because I actually raised my son from four months old and he didn’t know anybody else as mother. But, here’s the disadvantage, when the biological mother steps back into the picture, which can be a big struggle to the parents who raised the child and most of all to the child.

In this blog I will be discussing different topics on blended families. Please feel free to comment, ask questions, make suggestions, etc. Thanks for reading! Look out for my next blog!